1.  I had a brown guinea pig named Turd Ferguson in college named after my favorite SNL Celebrity Jeopardy skit of all time.

2.  When I was in eighth grade, I landed TWO supporting roles in the final play of the year for my drama class: a belligerent cowboy in the hospital, and a senile old man in a wheelchair.  I shit you not.  Talk about some serious foreshadowing...

3.  I was homecoming king in high school, but they didn't let me keep Imperial Butter crown.  All they gave me was a stupid keychain that said "homecoming court" on it.  I'm still bitter about it. 

4.  I think it's funny as hell when my mom swears.  My sister concurs.

5.  I am a bona fide movie geek, and find it completely justifiable to judge people, especially friends, based both on their taste in film, and their ability to quote with accuracy and vigor.  I'm that guy that actually watches the commentaries on the DVDs, and I've also been known to waste way too much of my time on imdb.com.

6.  That being said, I have a theory as to why Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise has become the cinematic equivalents of Michael Jackson, and it's much simpler than you would think.  Everyone wants to point the finger at their radical religious beliefs and monstrous bank accounts, but is it really a coincidence that BOTH of them have played characters named "Maverick" in movies?  I don't think so. 

7.  My favorite food group is bacon.

8.  I have a major fear of breaking/tearing fingernails.  The mere thought almost makes me want to throw up.  And even though I can't even feel them anymore, I can't watch when someone clips mine. 

9.  Four and a half years ago, I laid a vicious beat down on Mandy Morgen in a game of Monopoly.  Rolled doubles a few times, landed on Park Place, bought it, landed on Community Chest, was told to go to Boardwalk, bought it, threw down a few houses, she landed on them two laps in a row... and in a matter of 15 minutes, that was that.  It was a thing of beauty.

10.  I had LASIK surgery on my eyes right after graduating college.  My vision went from 20/400 to 20/15 in an instant, and it made me feel like freakin Superman.  It also pretty much convinced me that aliens do exist because, where else would somebody get the idea for that procedure?  They had to have been abducted.

11.  My first car was a Mars Red (a.k.a. orange as hell) 1981 Volkswagen Scirocco dubbed the "Orange Limo."  I got it when I was 15 years old, and drove it until six weeks before the accident, when I bought a pickup. 

12.  As a kid, I was addicted to the 1950s black-and-white sitcoms they played on Nick at Nite like "Mr. Ed," "Patty Duke," "The Donna Reed Show" and "Car 54, Where Are You?"

13.  I delivered pizza in college, and was often requested as "the cute one" on deliveries at night.  Every time I took one of those orders over the phone I would say, "okay, but you have to tip him extra, because he's having a bad night."  Worked every time.

14.  This is about the time I stop reading everyone else's lists, so I will leave you with my deep thought of the day: 

"Quadriplegia is to normal life what power outages are to camping: it would be really close to the same thing if you didn't have to sit around, staring at all your damn appliances that don't work."  -- smalls